Many of my friends have asked to read the transcript of the speech I gave to announce my canine candidacy for President. Here it is:
Hello Oxnard! Look at all of you dogs with your humans. As the official candidate from the Puppy Party, Seven thanks you so much for coming. He is grateful to see all of you show your support for his bid to become the first dog to be President of the United States.
You came out this morning for a reason. In the face of divisive politics, you believe that we can be a nation of people loving their dogs, barking up the right tree to Bring America Together Again.
That’s the journey we’re starting today. But let me tell you how Seven came to be here. I adopted Seven in 2015 when he was only 10 months old. Until then, Seven’s life centered on the dog show circuit. Today, he’s a professional actor and model. But the job he likes most is visiting with kids and adults as a certified Therapy Dog through Therapy Dogs International.
He’s running for president because he believes all dogs and humans are created equal. His platform is a home for every dog and a bone for every dog.
As Gandhi once said, “The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” America has a long way to go but Seven’s here to get the ball rolling, and he will fetch it and bring it back!
As any human who lives with a dog (or dogs) knows, canines have an incredible capacity for unconditional love. Besides being naturally loyal, dogs live their lives in the moment, with dignity, honor, and respect plus their moral compass is second to none.
If Seven is elected President, he will work hard to bring those important qualities back to the Whitehouse. His number one goal is No More Dog fights in Washington DC! Until he becomes President, Seven is willing to bring his therapy dog skills to Washington and help both Republicans and Democrats in their important negotiations.
Speaking of the Whitehouse, from now on, all Presidential Candidate must own a dog.
Seven will institute a law calling for more play time and allow dog parents paid time off when they bring a new dog home to love.
No more dog houses. Dogs live inside with their humans. He will also make it a rule that every American Dog has a warm place to sleep, preferably next to their human. No furniture is off limits and no room in the house is off limits either.
Seven’s going to build a wall to keep the fleas out. And the fleas will pay for it.
He promotes dogs, not guns.
As soon as he’s president, Seven will sign a bill making all parks dog parks.
Seven wants 20/20 to be the year that America finally puts an end to animal homelessness and human poverty.
We chose RESCUECON to announce Seven’s candidacy because we’re committed to getting forever homes for as many animals as possible. You’re invited to go meet homeless animals at the rescue fair today and learn about the amazing animal/human bond.
Look, Seven recognizes that a dog running for President of the United States is a novel idea. He knows that he hasn’t spent much time in politics. But he watches the news and realizes like most of you do, that American Politics aren’t working.
Together we can witness Washington going to the dogs in the best possible way. Seven just needs to take a long walk first.
Thanks again for coming. Now let’s get some dogs rescued!